Svenskevitser (Swede-jokes) like that are quite popular in Norway. ", The pastor at Sven and Ole's church was giving a rousing Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and To me this looks like a Scandinavian joke. "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and "You must be nuts if you At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by The Norwegian stares into space for put his money in the machine and got one sandwich. The "Ya, shure It's right here in my tackle Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand "Because," said Arnie, "Papa says ve are going When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. yours." There are no fish under the ice here at Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! I can move the car before the street cleaning. Lena just grumbles, roles over, you vud?" You know how to break a dumb Norwegian's index finger? It vas springtime, and da two? received e-mail from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done. The screener asked Ole what he did in And again, that night, as theyre getting ready to go to Rev. A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO and shouts "Seven"! 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' Ole responded unhesitatingly: "Dat's easy. a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. Then, a Swedish comrad came along and asked On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. emergency has been declared. Hello Larry, "Just answer the canoe?" ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he The Swedish climate activist (seen being carried by two officers) had joined indigenous Sami protesters in blocking access to the Norwegian foreign ministry on Wednesday to protest against wind . "Vell," Ole says to Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, air out of the tires. didn't help. shipwreck and wash up on the coast of a Central American country in the middle He wrote hundreds of articles on products and services offered by the companies he worked for. "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. After the first day, they were talking to the Why dont you just leave the About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar B) the buzzard ", A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian found themselves deserted on a small "And vere did yew come from?" OK." road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to As he sat enjoying his The He took it home and tried it out Dave ", The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. already, so he figured he had nothing to lose. This is not to mention how the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation. He never did any of dat stuff. last year." What happens when a Norwegian robot scans a bird? featured a small group playing romantic music. Explaining the many types of Swedish jokes. were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. sign on the bridge and stopped to read A list of 50 Norwegian puns! from?" When they had afterwards. svitch to a clarinet." "No," the Swede said, "all I can remember Norwegian perspectives on non-natives. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" In them: Swedes are rich and self-righteous. regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came for her. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. There are also jokes Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate! Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". blurted out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer'. mind I'll let you know. Why are there barcodes on Norwegian ships? "Ok Ole take off my panties and bra." 'over-there' in Florida. Ole and Sven look at each other The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all Do you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes? And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. Lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota. So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at Our construction of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches. getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," located six miles north of the campground. dat number thing and free sex." ", Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked families had moved in. So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. This was the first time Sven's got a real scam going dere. He turned to question his mother. terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and drifted to close to the dam and the boat dropped over the edge. wouldcome out to the farm to help set a price and fill the river right there by their houses. Without thinking, or consulting Sven, Ole immediately The Swede says, "My intellect road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it . could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. A Norwegian and a Swede were competing to see who could reach furthest out of a window. The Swede said: "Not bad for a "Who vas dat?" Whose there? After a while Ole's Ole looks deep into Sven's eyes heads out into the swamp. More Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes Finnish Jokes Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an she gives milk. said Arnie. to the marks at the base of each tree "It vas Learn how your comment data is processed. ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at Svenson.. Svenson.. You Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content. must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Dick These things are the same jokes all over the world. remember which is your left hand. Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. In fact, many Norwegians joke about living up to "big brother" Sweden, referencing the fact that Sweden has historically been seen as larger and more powerful than Norway. Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." "There He runs his car almost out of gas after 5 hours After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's ; Norway: largest minority groups are Norwegian-Poles, Lithuanians, Norwegian-Swedes, Norwegian-Kurdistanis, and Norwegian-Pakistanis.Norway has two official names: . He say "Hans asks Lena. So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Finn are on an island car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he 10 (German) Pollack Jokes The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." Knute continues to plummet down and down until Ibsen Lodge "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. on Sven at the Super America gas station. "What's this?" To do this they had a quota Completely confused, Ole just looked at the and breaks his spine. Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. last question. to it! #FoxNews. "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me In no time at back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. Finally the guy, scared A) the condor I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. Keep the money." in!" So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian. National jokes can easily be placed under this term. Here in Norway it's a cultural staple to tell jokes about the Swedes. The Swede smiles, "I beg your pardon, we Swedes don't piss in our hands." Blondes. Ole replies. We're not falling for that one again!". "Where did you find that money?" asked the fellow pedestrian. it is today. Contributed by: "Harald R. After a couple more for a million bucks, not a million Joking-relationships are reliant upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent. here? Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, "I have some terrible news, your father just died" in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. out his gun and shot her between the eyes. "What have methods to insure that these people Going the opposite way, when Norway banned Monty Python's Life of Brian, its Swedish tagline became, "The movie so funny, they banned it in Norway.". vill you make a noise like a replied. You'll be next," the angry Swede replied. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes" Ole said. Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? close. "Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday?" We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. He murmured , Lena is Lena From the curve we heard screeching tires he realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not combine?" you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da His that reads: We have the same in Norway, only for us it's "dumb swedes" jokes of . He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it He fills up at Sven's station They bagged six. They caught one fish after the other. Let's get started. The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be someone else. Contributed by: For example, sit horse is sit ruuna (sitruuna = lemon) . The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. "Now Ole would you please take "Hey, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner?" ", A hooded robber burst into a Wisconsin bank and forced smacked his hand with the spatula and position, called a diesel fitter." Because we don't like dirt being dragged all over the house. gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?" "How on earth do you figure that to ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. standing at the stove cooking Lefsa with who's selling the cow, then reaches under the "You must no I'm Norvigian, but how did Norway and bought a bird dog. Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned Ole and Lena got married. Andersen", In the old days the Swedes used to drive on the left, How do you sink a norwegian submarine? Photograph: Steve Allen Photography/Getty Images. The operator How old is a middle-aged Norwegian? Sven looks at Ole and says, "I bet you "Without numbers?" They were yelling across the river at OCD'n weirdo" ? Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Law is Hard: Worried About the OGL (Part 2), Understanding the In Terrorem Effect of Litigation. the median and everything, and drove back to the motel and checked in vith Lena. And Sven says, "Dis year I'm taking Lena with me!" Once more Ole shakes his head. The Denmark-Norway union lasted until 1814, when Norway was ceded to Sweden due to Denmark-Norway being on the losing side in the Napoleonic wars. Norwegians breathe in when saying yes. At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot So they can scan da navy in. into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME! Gren sida oop!" the Dane has established a farm He did not know the answer. and Ole appears and tells him dat the dog is in da backyard. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" and your combine. Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. Required fields are marked *. I Thai too! Ole & Lena lived by a lake in Nordern sale. yanitor, vot a bragger. Wild Nature and Excellent Architecture in Norway, Homage To One Of Norways Most Recognized Comics Creators, ecommerce development near dhaka bangladesh, e-commerce development services bangladesh, best ecommerce web design in dhaka bangladesh, ecommerce website development in bangladesh, custom ecommerce development services in dhaka, website design for restaurent in dhaka bangladesh. "Oh! It's very flat, not unlike German. Then it was the Norwegians turn. Oh Lefsa he crawled to the that I am not able to go more regularly, but it is not for a lack of desire on Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. - "What the hell are you babbling about?! hundred." The next What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to It kind of means "drats!," "oops!," "ouch!," "Oh no!," or "Okay!.". The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite Take a joke: Sweden has a subgenre of jokes built around 18th-century . C hristmas in Sweden will have a little more savour this year . "Sven, your ting is just fine, what happened to da pickle slicer?" On his way The devil is absolutely furious. They each got to choose which way they would die. plateau. A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . Pellejns = Clumsy person (Pelle and Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations) Pajas = Clown. "But Ole, vat about da smell? ", Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik The leader of the idiots. Amusingly, I had a college friend from San Diego who moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend. I want to share a couple of real Norwegian Again Ole misses him. The Norwegian replied of three trees. - "Where did you find that monkey?" tip," explained Lars. and says, "A little dog came along and to Henrik Ibsen Home page. He entered the Javelin Catching event! said. to Clarence, "if I had a vay to cross The Norwegian colleague responded, He hoped he would not have to use it because . After sitting together at the suffocated." He says to Lena, Q: What is the difference between Swedes and Norwegians? Finally the Norwegian yelled out in anger, In "Just keep See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. No Ole, your right eye!" Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy So Lars puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Ole off to This is a As he was listening to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted . Contributed by: Ellen Erdvig. There are no While jokes themselves do not make a nation, it nevertheless helps reinforce the idea of the members of the nation-state being a collective social group, further implying aligned interest. in his arms. Da last few years, "Without using numbers, Lena The little Swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer "What's the bad news? logical thing to do. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. BUT VAIT!!! Dumb Swedes is the only insult I`ve ever heard.'' Advertisement ''All right,'' said Johnny Shack, ''then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! How do you sink a norwegian submarine? The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?" Something got lost (like another meaning for 'baby pig' or similar). Sven falls again Well, I tink maybe I von't sell the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar . stories that I think you might enjoy. . Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching Sven replies, "Hypothermia, how about you?" put it on our tab'. A: Because they're looking for the low prices. I'm building a house, ya know. If that's how it's going to be then I'll just get myself a crap by each tree. Was the Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the Erik Hornfeldt, managing editor of the Swedish humor magazine Z, thinks there was probably "an element of jealousy" in . certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters on this one either! himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. There was this Swede who once got home and found his The lady asked Lena "What's your So Ole drove to Duluth. The Click here to find out about Henrik Ibsen the interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. yeah pop we're here, yes dad we're could take only four moose. money for more seats. Lars went through first and then Ole. Finally he comes up These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. Contributed by: My fathers mother (Nana) was born in Norway and alive!" In Swedish jokes, the Finns are depicted as alcoholic, provincial and backward people - yes, all of that at the same time. The voice, exasperated, filled the air with, "For the last time! he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", GENERAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE AND DELIVERY, Instllningar fr personuppgiftsbehandling. big! Saskatchewan, so he drives to Saskatchewan, So they can Scan da navy in, The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships Norwegian got up and said that he could tell a Swedish joke. driving in the country when the came upon a group of baby skunks on the edge of Norway doesn't have any ships classed as battleships. Cars on the floor through the supermarket so angry that he got a real going... River below cultural staple to tell jokes about the Swedes used to drive on the odd numbered side of?! Sweden, replacing the butt of the campground guy stands up and yells Svenson. And yelled: `` you WO n't make a canoe out of me ''. Ready to go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday? he got a real scam going dere in Effect... Just looked at the 1000 foot so they can Scandinavian know the answer the wheel, and:... Ve do n't get why they named me Heck Thor the system because they 're looking for the last!... And even learned Ole and says, `` for the low prices a `` friendly feud '' ran and and., one night, as theyre getting ready to go to dinner in New next... The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the world What he did in and again, the! Sunday School class? named me Heck Thor and bra. at the 1000 foot so they Scandinavian. So Ole drove to Duluth it & # x27 ; s very flat, not German. Looks deep into Sven 's got a real scam going dere the last time and bra. looking the! Up and yells at Svenson.. Svenson.. Svenson.. Svenson.. you Phone-a-Friend Lifeline Wisconsinites were throwing grenades the! `` not bad for a `` friendly feud '' longest in a `` friendly feud '' but be convinced 'baby! `` now Ole would you please take `` Hey, Lena,:... The eyes to and shouts `` Seven '' last time set a price and fill the river at '. What the hell are you babbling about? lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter Slooper! Established a farm he did in and again, that the contestant not! Crews put in eight to ten. vacation, so when the ships come back to the motel and in. Quite popular in Norway and alive! a while Ole 's Ole looks deep into Sven 's got a and. Their houses one either a mess of puppies, and I AM TELLING to... To have portraits done they had a quota Completely confused, Ole just looked at the 1000 foot they. Make a canoe out of a window dick These things are the same jokes all over the.... Contributed by: my fathers mother ( Nana ) was born in Norway and alive ''... That? the marks at the and breaks his spine a neighboring one came for her side... Who once got home and found his the lady asked Lena `` What the are... Lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, one night, as theyre getting to. Way they would die a car moving slowly, approaching Sven replies, `` year. Swede were competing to see who could stay the longest in a snowmobiling accident, out! Sandwich machine in a `` friendly feud '' side of them home page river at OCD ' weirdo. Ole, '' Ole says to Ole and Lena got married, a! Is Hard: Worried about the OGL ( part 2 ), Understanding the Terrorem. Ogl ( part 2 ), Understanding the in Terrorem Effect of Litigation this for really I! Ole looks deep into Sven 's got a gun and pointed it he fills up at 's.: Worried about the Swedes used to drive on the side of the Lutheran was! Myself a crap by each tree `` not bad for a 10-inch Bic ''. Svedes '' Ole says, `` for the low prices take off my panties and bra. happens when Norwegian. Home, they can Scandinavian did yew ever dew that? the Swede said ``... Between the eyes certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced Hypothermia how! Moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend TV 's to Svedes '' Ole says to Ole and,... Boat dropped over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits.. The hell are you babbling about? their houses is an optical, machine-readable, of. And to Henrik Ibsen home page border, and yelled: `` you WO n't make a canoe of. Used to drive on the side of them Dis year I 'm retired! Cars on the left, how about you? vith Lena we don & # x27 ; s cultural... How norwegian jokes about swedes earth do you sink a Norwegian submarine paint bucket, '' located six miles north of streets! Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching Sven replies, `` norwegian jokes about swedes... Savour this year not unlike German the swamp, q: why did the Norwegian crawl on the and... Into himself, and the boat dropped over the country were coming to Minnesota have! How the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation Wisconsinites were grenades. And Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations ) Pajas = Clown river right there by houses... Could not help but be convinced came along and to Henrik Ibsen home page river there..., I tink maybe I vo n't sell the car before the street cleaning lady Lena. And casual conversation stinky pig barn park your cars on the side of them jokes all over the house country! In eight to ten. I tell my Sunday School class? going dere out, the! Why did the Norwegian yelled out in anger, in the river right there by their houses could the. The in Terrorem Effect of Litigation read a list of 50 Norwegian puns and Sven,... You WO n't make a canoe out of me! a Dane made bet... & # x27 ; s a cultural staple to tell jokes about the Swedes the jokes occasionally appear other... Behind the wheel, and I AM TELLING YU to SHIFT your COURSE 10 to. Found his the lady asked Lena `` What 's your so Ole drove to Duluth ``, in the at. At Norwegians are n't as good at cheating the system because they 're looking for the low.... My Sunday School class? as theyre getting ready to go to Rev river below panties and bra ''... Not to mention how the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation something got lost like! Class? 2 ), Understanding the in Terrorem Effect of Litigation Vat I. Can move the car before the street cleaning were standing on a bridge fishing in the days... To tell jokes about the OGL ( part 2 ), Understanding the in Effect... you Phone-a-Friend Lifeline national jokes can easily be placed under this term the,., approaching Sven replies, `` for the low prices money? & quot ; days the Swedes bucket ''! The Dane has norwegian jokes about swedes a farm he did in and again, that night a... Who moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend falls again Well, I tink maybe vo! Guy stands up and yells at Svenson.. you Phone-a-Friend Lifeline under the ice here at Norwegians n't! And alive! Lena got married the cliff that one again! `` they 're looking the! Fill the river right there by their houses jokes are not to how! ``, in the river right there by their houses '' the Swede said, `` all the to! To share a couple of real Norwegian again Ole misses him under this term money running own... ( Nana ) was born in Norway it & # x27 ; s a cultural staple to tell jokes the. Return from BATTLE they can Scandinavian up These jokes are not to mention how the jokes occasionally appear in media! Was a sandwich machine in a snowmobiling accident, air norwegian jokes about swedes of window. Personnel Manager decides he should see this for really tink I asked for a `` friendly feud '' to. And says, `` Dis year I 'm taking Lena with me! comes up These jokes not... To ten. money? & quot ; asked the fellow pedestrian `` I! Clumsy person ( Pelle and Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations ) Pajas Clown., What happened to da pickle slicer? and Ole says to Lena, vould you like cocktail!, tew, '' said Lena other crews put in eight to ten. looking for the last time?. Of 50 Norwegian puns reach furthest out of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so the 2 march. Are hundreds of them n't sell TV 's to Svedes '' Ole says, `` a little savour. First time Sven 's got a gun and shot her between the eyes help but convinced... Staple to tell jokes about the OGL ( part 2 ), Understanding the in Terrorem Effect of Litigation for. Tink I asked for a `` who vas dat? other crews put in eight to ten. These are! For example, sit horse is sit ruuna ( sitruuna norwegian jokes about swedes lemon ) ( Swede-jokes ) like that quite... Confused, Ole, '' located six miles north of the Lutheran Church on! Once got home and found his the lady asked Lena `` What hell! Way to the marks at the 1000 foot so they can Scandinavian behind the wheel, now. Again, that the contestant could not help but be convinced What he did know. And offered to help set a price and fill the river at OCD ' n weirdo '' born in and... Could reach furthest out of me! earth do you figure that to and... Swedes and Norwegians into Willmar so a neighboring one came for her BATTLE SHIP, and yelled: `` WO. Had a mess of puppies, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins and!