What right do you have to tell another parent how they should feel about their autistic child? So many parents of autistic children have liked, commented on, and shared it. This thread is archived Forces to quit jobs to stay home with the severe individual, living in near poverty, and always fighting to get your child disability services. She tried to take her child to Sesame Street Live and was embarrassed that her 6-year-old autistic child was stimming while meeting Elmo and she saw all the adorable babies in line. Clearly hates her child?! Suggestions to keep this inside is ridiculous, harmful, unhealthy, crap advice. A LACK of empathy. Yall need to start treating your severely Autistic children with basic human rights, privacy, and respect. And shut up. If youre making excuse for an Autism Parent that clearly hates their child, then youre a crap excuse for a human being. It would be a miracle if my son could learn to express himself as people with Aspergers do. Learn the difference. There isnt any manual to child raising. Ew, neurotypicals. Spend some time in their world. I guess you missed the part where she said all she wants is for her Son to be happy!! Be careful about behavior modification therapies. Your post is the most discriminatory and ableist thing Ive read in a while. Hey! You still gunna tell me to shut my mouth and pretended thats not terrifying? At the very least, it comes off bad on the parent. How to Handle an Autistic Child's Behavior Download Article methods 1 Handling a Lack of Responsiveness 2 Coping with Language and Communication Problems 3 Dealing with Meltdowns and Tantrums + Show 6 more. Id go on some more but My son decided to smear his poop all over the bathroom wall and floor, so I gotta go clean that up. Talk about kicking people when they are down. Thanks for writing it. The comments here make me so sad. Even if you have people in your life to talk to, they dont necessarily want to here a repeat of your ongoing frustration. Autistic people may confuse I and you regularly, for example. My daughter is highly functioning, ADHD, epileptic and ODD. Avoid organizations that aren't run by autistic people, or treat autism as an enemy to be eradicated, such as. Surely you jest. Every single last internal concurring issue that isnt my Autism nor ADHD has been overlooked, therefore slowly, but surely, Im moving over to the societal low functioning scale. She cries in her car, on video for hundreds of thousands of people to see, because her son is autistic and that makes her life hard. I want my children to have as easy ride as possible through life but, when you find out that your precious child is going to have to overcome obstacles, its hard to come to terms with. So far my prayers have been answered by the devil. Point istry to take it one day at a time. I learned more about her. Search #ActuallyAutistic hashtags and find Kristy forbes on Instagram and follow her! I pinky promise Ill explain what parents should do when feeling such big (and valid) feelings about autism and their child. And its still okay for me to break down and have bad days too. Hmmm? Remember that mistakes are normal, and no kid gets perfect caregivers. Get off your ass and help, dont hinder and judge. AND YES HER CHILDS AUTISM DOES MAKE HER LIFE HARD. He felt more understood because he was. When the world is spinning around you, pause and look within yourself taking note of your emotions and bodily sensations. Would you put down someone saying from cancer because they talk about how much they hate it? During self-injury, endorphins are released, which inhibit the individual from feeling much pain while making them feel happier. Comer, J.R. Abnormal Psychology, seventh edition. Is that complaining? You want to be a better person? I was with you until I got to that list. Would you cry in your car about how your childs future is terrible because it isnt what you wanted? If you choose to have children, you are opening yourself up to having a whole range of children and this really should have been made clear before you start. Like, there is an out? It helps if the people around them can be a calming influence. You dont even know what youre talking about. You think parents of NT kids dont publicly complain, post videos, etc? Older autistic people are able to communicate their experiences with burnout in a way toddlers can't. Adults have reported symptoms such as: Increased sensitivity to sensory stimuli, such as . Their needs are vastly different. That being able to string sentences together means the autism is easy (or indeed that its not even autism as stated further back in this thread by someone). The first time I was hospitalized for suicide, I was eighteen years old. The problem is more system wide (she did say school, not teacher, but its likely the problem is broader than that to encompass the whole of state services). Complain if you must, but theres a time and place for everything. I dont care who i upset with this reply either. Try to incorporate small fish, meats, fish oil, and cod liver oil into your childs diet. *This blog is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Well, bitch, because the normal child can do the most basic things in life. Is she not allowed to have one? Anyone who tries to say autism is anything other than a living hell is either lying to themselves or lying to everyone else to make Themselves or others feel better. But my child needs to be accepted for what he can and cannot do, for how his brain is wired differently just like yours needs it. Try not to feel hurt when it happens; your child likely isnt trying to cause you distress at all they just are blind to the consequence of their action. And I work with all ranges of autistic people. I wouldnt care if my child decides to be a homeless on his own accord, but I would care if he has to live the rest of his life in a group home. As well as a basic high school classroom typical kids range 5-10 years of developmental ability. Unfortunately, intellectual disabilities, as well as ADD/ADHD, and seizure disorders are common comorbidities with autism, and all too often, make the autism even worse. Abusive?!? Don't punish/criticize the child or push them to do something if they aren't comfortable, because they'll associate social interactions with negative feelings. I wish all the parents of autistic kiddos could see their kids the way I see mine.I wouldnt change him for the world. Mediocre gene pool, probably. People with autism have a number of legal rights and protections. We are all taught that it is your right to marry and have a happy, healthy family. The key to understanding how to calm an autistic child lies with understanding what it is that triggers the behavior. Absolutely not. I was so annoyed all the time! I would suggest that the apparent lack of empathy is simply an autistic person being wired so differently they find it hard to relate to the needs and expectations of a Neurotypical person. This can be harmful to the child's self-esteem and may cause regression, aggression, and other problems. Wonderful article. It'll teach them the basics of reciprocal communication (which lays a good foundation for speech), allow them to express themselves, and help get their needs met. Not cool. Posting online this kind of video seems like a call of attention and sympathy to her. Frustration over a lack of communication. Full stop yall. Her concerns are real. Write about your frustrations in a private journal. Im pretty sure every parent has had a rant about their childrens behaviour before! But it is wrong to disparage those of us who are not so fortunate, we have very real concerns about the growing epidemic of autismYES it is an epidemic even the CDC admits it is NOT just better diagnosis. You are the reason your son does those things. The problem here isnt the teachers, most of whom are going beyond duty for the children. Lets see how happy you remain when your kid kills your pets, destroys everything you love or hold dear, smears feces on everything in the home including your face, ruins all interaction around you with his tantrums and physically attacks you or anyone for no reason. Have u actually rwad the complete article? From an autistic childs perspective, and my other neurodivergent friends, they are delusional and dont care about what their actual children think, and someones identify shouldnt be my child is autistic. as minors, we do not want to be seen as tokens or things for our parents to control. % of people told us that this article helped them. Eliminate certain tastes or textures as you go if your child hates the texture of chunky tomato pieces, puree them. Every single day for nearly the last decade we have been: hit, kicked, punched, screamed at, injured, and drained (emotionally, physically, mentally and financially). Thank you for such a thoughtful resource and such great ideas. References. Because parents with severely autistic children dont get to do those things. The average lifespan for Autistic people is 3638 years (Joseph & Guohua, 2017). Yes, raising an autistic child in this world is hard but its harder for him to have to live in it when people are portraying autism as a horrible ugly thing and saying things like half regarded and half insane about their own children. You still have a best friend?! Eating a fairly balanced diet is more important than eating a wide variety of foods. This is the first step to know whether what youre about to share is over the line. Big deal. Its very hard for people who have no issues. I havent made it to 32 yet, and Im very lucky to have made it this long. Heres a picture: If I refuse thats a meltdown. Will she have to quit her job as I did to care for her brother or will she find an institution or supervised group home where he is happy? He can go to the bathroom on his own and even though he didnt go to mes school he still has the possibility to think of what he wants his life to be. Don't feel bad if your child never learns to speak. You could choose to cope in the way that helps YOU and your child without hating on another parent and HER CHILD. Hates her child? You may be someones only tie to the autism community. emma p (510) 16/09/2014 at 6:36 pm. I have two on the spectrum, one nonverbal, they are wonderful, amazing, and so loved. But there is no more. Email me if you need someone to talk to. If your aim is to show people the ugly with the good, firstly Id consider if your child is happy for their lives to be on the internet and then Id make sure to explain in a cut that you were having a though time and that your feelings, while valid, dont represent everything you experience with your child. There is this thing called Personal Boundaries, and the mother in the video and all these commenters defending her, dont understand what that is. Youve never seen the severe side, and the helplessness and despair. AUTISTIC READERS: The comments section on this post has a lot of hate and ableism, and many comments that are hurtful and/or triggering. All yall do is talk over them and dont listen to their struggles. At FIVE years old. Perhaps you need them to transport your person with autism to a medical facility for an evaluation or to a crisis intervention program (if your community is so . PLEASE stop blogging about Autism. The moral police dont get to decide how other people deal with difficult emotions. If my children were not autistic then that burden would not be there. The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. So, all you parents who are reading this one: SPEAK UP ALWAYS!!! Adult Austistics are the greatest resource we have as parents. Then they reach their teens and you realise that a whole lot of other teens are utter dicks and actually your kids are going to do great because theyre not dicks it gets a whole lot easier. The fact that this post calls people [of whatever nature] sl*ts and then shames people who are neurotypical should tell you exactly where this mentality is coming from. Its been so long I dont even remember what its like to have a normal nights sleep or to have a dream. Also, explain why people who have cerebral palsy and intellectual disability easily get caregivers and support while people with intellectual disability and severe autism are discriminated for everything? Try to be consistent as best as you can. Shes an outstanding mother and is quite blunt about a side of autism not everyone knows. If you are adult enough to write this opinionated, suppressed, article, then you can leverage and accept the condition and opinion of others. dont compare. If they're comfortable with discussing the subject, pitch your conversation at their current understanding. If your child suspects that you may not follow through, he or she is unlikely to stop the behavior. Autistic children need to know that self-harm is not appropriate or allowed, that you will always be there to help them handle it. You have nerve picking on a person for having an overwhelming day and sharing her feelings. No government services. I think this grace should extend to the autistic child. Depending on your child's learning abilities, this may be a good idea. When you say that autism makes your life so difficult, you're telling the world that autistic people are more trouble than we're worth. Find positive support groups, such as Parenting Autistic Children with Love and Acceptance. You know this Spectrum, umbrella, some of us have it worse than others and stop playing the Im autistic, too card as a means to double down that YOU ARE RIGHT, there is no right, there is simply this fucked up reality and everyone has to navigate it differently some of us got it worse than others. I dont think theres a right or a wrong here. Our children, and therefore us and all family members, have been thrown into a disease that is painful, is horrible, that is hard to watch someone suffer from. :). Not every autistic child is the kind you can just take to starbucks or out for lunch! If you have the backing of a professional, quote the professional. Life consists of dodging his punches, kicks, slaps, and bites, and changing diapers. If they won't talk about autism, talk about the struggles without mentioning the diagnosis. I find it great that the internet creates the possibility for parents of autistic children to support each other. The kind of mom who would make one of these namby-pamby videos and have the idiocy to post it has issues beyond her child with autism. My oldest has her DL and when school thought she couldnt do it I said shell fail like any other child. The things that effect your stepchild now will still effect them 20 years from now. I don't want my child to have autism anymore. I have always been a big believer that whatever labels you put on children they will live up to those labels..or rarely, will overcome those labels. Always consult a doctor before altering a child's diet. I watched the video thats being quoted in this article, what I saw was a Mother who was vulnerable, clearly struggling, sharing real, raw and valid emotions with the world. I know I am not easy, I know I am difficult. I dont believe you were shaming me or any other parent all. Years ( Joseph & Guohua, 2017 ) severe side, and so loved her HARD. Were not autistic then that burden would not be there childs autism MAKE! 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